Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The Flying Kiwi

This week has been quite eventful.

I am being visited by one of my favorite minions. She has traveled from far away to offer her praise and adoration.

Though her name is Kirsha, she has asked me for the sake of anonymity to change her name in regards to this post. I shall honor her wishes and simply refer to her as "Kersha".

Kersha has journeyed from a distant land called "New Zealand". To be honest, I am not quite sure exactly where New Zealand is located, but judging from her accent, I suspect that it is somewhere between New Jersey and East Madagascar.

From what she has told my two leggers, New Zealand is a wonderful place, which unlike Old Zealand is full of strange, mythical beasties, flightless bird thingies (Ivan's dream), and populated by strong-willed, resilient two leggers who have survived war, political upheaval, earthquakes and hobbits.

In fact, their national motto pretty much says it all. One cannot help but be moved when they all stand and shout: "OY! WE ARE NOT AUSTRALIA!!!!!"

Kersha's visit has been a very welcome change to my Kingdom's usual routine. Since her arrival, she has continuously showered me with great amounts of attention and worship. She has given me copious amounts of petting, stroking, bowing and other forms of worship. I must say that her presence amuses me. While she seems extremely cheerful for a two legger, I am willing to overlook this small character flaw owing to the fact that she is willing to turn on the firebox thingy whenever I request it.

That being said, I must point out that there is one other thing which does not amuse me. In fact, there have been a few times that I have almost become miffed. On occasion, she has trod dangerously close to making me peeved. She is walking the extremely fine line between Royal Amusement and Royal Displeasure...........

At times during her visit, Kersha seems to have forgotten that her visit is all about ME. I have often witnessed her paying attention to Jaq, Ivan, my two leggers and I suspect that she may even be petting Tiger Lily when my back is turned. This is intolerable. This cannot be condoned.

Perhaps, in her native land, this behavior is considered polite and respectful, but it simply will not fly here. I am beginning to think that I may need to teach her a lesson.

However, I am aware that she is a stranger in a strange land. For now I will give her some latitude. I shall bide my time. I will give her a chance to mend her ways and recognize her transgressions.

That being said, my patience is neither infinite nor unbreakable.

For now I shall wait and observe.

After all, I have been working on a good hairball and I know where her suitcase is............